Sunday, May 23, 2010
Smile.... Just a little one?
When you meet someone for the first time... what is the first thing that goes through your mind? The way they look... the way they stand... the way they great you? For some reason 98% of the time when I meet a new person I find myself finding a way to enlighten them with laughter. This may be a weakness for me in some areas but in everyday life I think it is a great way to greet someone. Even if it is something as small as a little half grin from the person or a big belly laugh I find a way to make them smile and its unconsciously done most of the time. I think I do this in order to let the person to know I am easy to talk to and also because I like to see people I talk to smile so let’s call it a selfish gain from it. But this got me thinking about the reasons people don’t greet others with at least a smile. Maybe your day sucked. Maybe you lost your job. Maybe you just don’t like to smile. Now I do understand at times it is hard to smile but if you’re just going to work and grabbing coffee or shopping and "focused" on your list. Keep in the back of your head to smile cause if everyone starts to smile in their everyday activities and when meeting people then maybe the worst day might not be so bad either to you or someone else.
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Great post! I find I get to caught up and don't smile.
ReplyDeleteHave you ever considered the psychological depths of these needs? That is, the need to get other people to modify their behavior to please you (i.e. get them to smile); also the fact that they are (consciously or unconsciously) catering to you on some level, to the extent that they are either covering their mood and therefore engaging in a deception, or else actually modifying their mood, perhaps in a way they would not have chosen for themselves?
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's better to get people 'in a better mood,' but maybe it's also providing a certain level of distracting static into the 'social signal.'
A signal that a stranger 'needs you to smile' could also be interpreted subconsciously as a signal that 'this person can't handle me if I am just myself, or on my own terms.' There is this need to set ground rules, to alter the channels of communication.
Already, before the first word is spoken, the tension has started.